• Working with Stuff

    I am single and I’m in pain

    This is one of those rare posts where I show you “live” how I work with my stuff. It’s full of seriously cool and useful concepts. At least 5 things that are Important to Know. First the back story I was in a Facebook conversation on the topic of “Single”. When suddenly I felt *anger*. Now, according to Karla McLaren, anger shows up when our boundaries have been crossed. Since I’m a HSP with very thin boundaries, and since I don’t get angry very often, I have learned to make the best out of my anger when it does show up. That is: I feel the anger, allow it to…

  • Stories of my life

    Even Though

    You want something, but you think you shouldn’t want it. That’s what being in resistance looks like. And one way to get out of it is to practice “even though”, and acknowledge conflicting thoughts and feelings. Here is something I wrote, when I was in a… state of despair. As I often am. Even though I am old and ugly… Possibly uglier than I’ve ever been before… Even though I am positive that what I dream of is impossible Even though I am convinced that I have no right to want what I want, dream what I dream, because who am I to want and dream so big? Even though…

  • Working with Stuff

    Clarity is Scary

    Say you want something. Like, oh, I don’t know, to pick an example totally at random: A WONDERFUL MAN. So you decide to work with this Want by using “Qualities” This is a technique to help you get closer to the thing you want. It works like this: you break down this thing you want into its Spiritual Qualities and you find out ways to give those qualities to yourself. So, WONDERFUL MAN will be made up of: + support + comfort + warmth + love + beauty + caring + grace + hope + joy + intimacy. Etc. You get the point. And now you try to find ways…

  • Stuff you can try

    Why you should watch cartoons as a productivity strategy

    While I was writing the “Working with your Stuff” e-book, I watched (almost) the whole of “Hey Arnold!”. (In fact, I am watching it right now) While writing + launching my e-book “How to be OK with Yourself”, I watched the whole of “Daria”. Several times. Then I got Daria to help me write the copy for the sales page. (What? You don’t know “Daria”? How did you survive the “teenage years”?!?!”) My (super supportive) friend who witnessed both my endless hours of pouring on my e-book in between my obsessive “Daria” consumption, was like… “W00t?!”. My answer: “I’m under a lot of stress right now, what with doing something…

  • Help in a crisis

    What to do when you’re panicking about all the “suck”

    The other day I was in a serious suck How serious? Tears; “I hate the world”; “I hate myself”; “I hate my life”; “nothing good has ever happened and nothing good will ever happen”. THAT kind of “suck”. I worked with it. And helped myself “out”. Here’s what I did. Music. Obvious? Yes? Cheesy? Absolutely. But calming music always shifts something for me. I go for classical music. (yes…). But any kind of “calming zen-type, mediation-like” music will do. Ask: “does this thought serve me right now“? It’s not that the thought is wrong; it’s just that it’s not helping *right now*. “Can I leave this thought for later?“Know which…