Once again, with feeling: may this log not take forever.
And so we begin.
- The “Teeth Chronicles” are not over yet. My tooth still hurt in spite of the emergency treatment, so I had to call again. But now I have an appointment with my dentist who might fix things, finally. Maybe. I still don’t have words for any of this.
- Work. And then some. Double shifts throughout the weekend. By Monday, I was wiped out , but I couldn’t rest due to Dental Drama, and Strange Viewings. Today, I crashed. I got back from dentist appointment, went for a nap and refused to leave the bed until 3 pm. Because Wiped Out.
- Planning trip is stressful. I screwed up and ended up spending £13, when I should have spent only £5. And this bothers me tremendously, because it triggers all my stories, such as how I cannot “adult” and how I don’t have money and can’t afford to make mistakes. Etc. A breath for this.
- I got a new backpack! Though it should be called “The Mother of All Backpacks and Badassery”. It’s huge, and it has more pockets than I can count. Yay for new backpack.
- I’ve decided to start publishing things on Medium. More of my musings, things not quite “Widdershins Post” like. Yay for this, it feels like progress. You can find me here.
- The perfume I bought for myself, “Bergamot and Lime” ended up stinking of neither bergamot nor lime. What even?! A breath for disappointment, and for dealing once again with the story “I can’t afford to make mistakes”.
- More progress on the Oddysee “Expanding the Circle”. Or should I say “movement”, because it doesn’t necessarily feel like moving “forward”. I’m just moving things and staying present to the consequences.
- I cannot even with the “Big Things” in life. And yet… I cannot “NOT” even with the “Big Things” in life. I am in pain and I don’t know what to do, since any attention or work poured into the “Big Things” has brought about nothing but grief. A breath or two and a few tears for this.
Moments of Insight
I was at work on Friday, humming a song from “The Little Mermaid” (naturally…) when all of a sudden a thought hit me, and I gasped: What if I am Eric?
I’ve been asking this question ever since. What if I am Eric?
I don’t particularly like where these reflections are taking me, but who am I to argue with the Truth, right?
Things of Considerable Worth (Un-missables!)
- Here’s a very nice workbook you can print for 2016. I might use it myself, if I can get over my pathological fear of planners and planning due to “Life Never Going According to Plan”.
- “We were made for these times”, by Clarissa Pinkola Estes. I’m not sure how I feel about this. But she comes highly recommended.
Another log logged, and in not-too-much time. I’m glad about this.
As for the question “Why on Earth do I bother”, that will remained unanswered. Mainly because I don’t know the answer.
I keep asking the question, though.