Weekly Log copy

Weekly Log #14: Trying to Glow Love

My weekly ritual for looking at my the week that was.

Weekly Log copy

The title of this log is hilarious because, yes, I did try to glow love this week. Twice, in fact.
But right now, I feel utterly hopeless and as far from glowing love as it is possible to be.

I am sad. I am upset. I am angry.
I do not want to write or log.
I don’t want to do any Widdershins work. Possibly ever again.

But I am logging nonetheless.
Bring-it-on. For better or worse.

  • No progress on the Widdershins front. None. I am upset about this, and on the verge of giving up and burning everything to the ground. Argh.
  • If there is a feeling that encompasses the “exhaustion from having things not work out for ages and ages”, then I have that feeling. If there isn’t, I shall invent a word for it.
  • No yoga. Of course. There hasn’t been any yoga in months. And I don’t like it. Frustration.
  • I went to see Miranda live on stage. It was SUCH FUN! Grateful for friends and love.
  • I got badly triggered while at the Miranda show. Twice. Thank goodness for my practice, and my knowledge of letting the emotions flow and grounding myself.
  • I somehow managed to unexpectedly glow love for past me. It was a nice moment.
  • I re-organised the songs in Sky Rocker (my iPod). Yay for awesome music while cycling.

    Worthy of Mention

    This was my Facebook update:

    Someone I know passed away yesterday.
    I was amongst the last people they spoke to…
    So these are my thoughts right now.

    * I spent the day surrounded by people who were losing it, to some degree. So I had to do a lot of grounding, for myself and for them, because I was the only person who knows about “grounding”.
    I am *SO* grateful for knowing what I know.

    * I am also grateful for yoga this morning. I woke up uncharacteristically early and I instantly knew what I had to do. Yoga. I didn’t know then it would make things better, but it did.

    * Peacefulness. As much as you can, be at peace. The cliche is true, we never know what can happen. And it’s simply not worth it to be stuck in our “stuff”, angry or resentful.
    I am again grateful for knowing how to work with my stuff.

    * The more at peace you are, and the less “in your stuff” you are, the more you can help others.
    Presence and mindfulness are not just things that help us be less neurotic. They help us with the biggest things in life. We *have* to be present when it comes to death. Our humanity demands it. And it’s infinitely easier to do when we know how to work with our stuff and we don’t get “triggered” when things get hard.

    * Connect to peacefulness and love often. That way they will stay in your pocket, or at the back of your mind, and when you need them the most, you can call them up.

    * None of the things we think matter *actually* matter. Whatever it is we do at work, doesn’t matter. Check lists? Don’t matter. Status, money, “professionalism”, don’t matter.
    Only truth, peace and love matter, and the more we connect to them, the easier it is to remember this.
    So that it doesn’t take death for us to remember it.

    * Glow as much peace and love in this world as you can.
    For yourself and others.

    Glowing peace and love right now for anyone and everyone reading this.

    Namaste.

    Moments of Insight

    Presence is the doorway to intimacy and closeness. (Havi would say that this is “a” door, one of many, though I personally haven’t found any other yet)

    I crave the spaces to share my heart and truly connect with other people. I’ve been craving this since I was a small child.
    And it seems like the entire world has decided that these spaces shouldn’t exist. We have a culture built around “business” and “small talk” and we never get to connect to each other, just be with each other and be fully present.

    It’s rather obvious to me that the answer to this is to connect to myself. Duh. Keep connecting to myself, keep being present.

    Things of Considerable Worth (Un-missables!)

    • I try to recommend free things in the Un-missables, but this is so good I have to tell you about it.

      I bought Karla McLaren’s “The Language of Emotions” audio learning course, and it is so full of insights it’s blowing my mind a little. This is stuff that takes me completely by surprise.
      And it’s essential knowledge if, like me, you happen to be an emotional basket case at least regularly.

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    I did it!
    I don’t know how this log happened, considering I am currently hating everything and everyone, but I did it.

    Go me!