• Stuff you can try,  Working with Stuff

    Being Single Alone

      It’s Valentine’s Day, or as we call it on this website, “Valiant Day”, and since this time tends to wreck the nerves of us single people, I thought I would come out of my Writer’s Block to share the best advice I can give you on how to deal with singleness in a world of coupledness. And that advice is:   “You do not talk about being single with people who are coupled”.   Now you may be thinking “whaaat?”, so don’t worry, I will expand on this. And if you regularly find yourself in painful conversations with your coupled friends, you may want to read until the end.  …

  • Help in a crisis

    Life Breaks Us All

    Life will break you. It’s not because you have done anything wrong, it’s because that’s what life does. It breaks us over and over, so that we may awaken. Of course we don’t like it. In fact, if we didn’t fight it, the process wouldn’t work: it’s the struggle that leads to the breakthrough. That’s why aboriginal societies took their young people through “coming of age” rituals. To break them. They knew that in time life breaks us all, and it’s best to be prepared for it. They would purposely break them to teach them how to find the light. So that when life breaks them, as it does all…

  • Stories of my life,  Working with Stuff

    Because I’m Scared of Dreaming

    This is one of those rare posts where I share my process. This is what happened. I was day dreaming, as I often do, and catching myself doing so (thank you, mindfulness). I was in resistance, simultaneously enjoying the day dreaming and beating myself up for it. And we know what Havi says… “When you struggle with yourself, the struggle always wins”. So I opened a new document on the laptop and started to write. I ended up having a conversation with “Wiser Me”, who gave me a bunch of wise advice. Here’s what I wrote: I was feeling pretty good, and day dreaming a wonderful dream. And since I…

  • Stories of my life

    Even Though

    You want something, but you think you shouldn’t want it. That’s what being in resistance looks like. And one way to get out of it is to practice “even though”, and acknowledge conflicting thoughts and feelings. Here is something I wrote, when I was in a… state of despair. As I often am. Even though I am old and ugly… Possibly uglier than I’ve ever been before… Even though I am positive that what I dream of is impossible Even though I am convinced that I have no right to want what I want, dream what I dream, because who am I to want and dream so big? Even though…