• Working with Stuff

    Holding Beliefs for Others… and When Not To

    My realisation went like this: “I am not going to carry beliefs for them* any more. I am done. No more.” *Them being “men”. Men in general. I am not altogether clear on what this meant, so I’m going to try to find clarity by writing about it here. “Holding Beliefs for Others” Holding Beliefs for other people can be a wonderful practice, if done consciously. Like when I hold a belief for my friend. It works like this: When she’s having trouble believing good things for herself, I hold that belief for her. I say “I believe you are amazing, and you are capable of awesome things in this…

  • Working with Stuff

    My Life Is Phunked

    My life is phunked. You will need this information for this post. So even if you don’t agree that my life is phunked, suspend your judgement and roll with it for now. There’s an important lesson here My life is phunked. It is pretty darn phunked. It may not look like that, but trust me, it is. And because my life is phunked, I run around desperately trying to unphunk it. In that running around, I ask for advice, from people whose lives aren’t phunked. In not so many words, I say: “please show me how to unphunk my life”. And they tell me. They give me advice. And I,…

  • Stories of my life,  Working with Stuff

    Triggered

    Triggers. They are no fun, to put it *very* mildly. In case you don’t know what a trigger is (like I didn’t) here’s what they look like for me. I see something, or hear something, and all of a sudden a memory of a Horrible Moment in my life shows up and I can’t stop feeling distressed. The memory won’t go away, the distress won’t go away, and I can no longer function. That’s what happens to me “now”. What used to happen, back before I started working with my stuff, is that I would see something I seriously disapproved, I would proceed to lose my marbles completely, the “thing”…

  • Working with Stuff

    I am single and I’m in pain

    This is one of those rare posts where I show you “live” how I work with my stuff. It’s full of seriously cool and useful concepts. At least 5 things that are Important to Know. First the back story I was in a Facebook conversation on the topic of “Single”. When suddenly I felt *anger*. Now, according to Karla McLaren, anger shows up when our boundaries have been crossed. Since I’m a HSP with very thin boundaries, and since I don’t get angry very often, I have learned to make the best out of my anger when it does show up. That is: I feel the anger, allow it to…