Because Life is Still Hard

If you’re anything like me you may have… shall we say… “reluctance” to trust those people who preach about hippie, whacky “positive” woo woo stuff.

Did I say reluctance? I meant thinking: “easy for THEM to believe in positive thinking! I would believe in it too if I had their life! Their house, their income, their partner! COME ON!!!”.

This, by the way, is Yours Truly on an almost daily basis.

This is precisely what stopped me from finding the help I needed much sooner: this constant stream of happy faces enjoying a wonderful life in the Sun, telling you that “you too can be this happy”.

So what changed? Well… I met Havi.

And Havi was the first person I actually listened to. (OK, I read her, but you get the drift).

You know why? Because she has gone through… “hard”. And I mean seriously hard “hard”.

Like abusive relationships, and homelessness, and poverty, and depression.

So I listened… Here was someone who had survived seriously difficult stuff and did not bombard me with shining pictures of her wildly successful life.

Here’s the thing: When you are stuck in the hardest of “hards”, other people’s happiness will trigger your stuff. A lot.

Sure, sure, I can go on about how “this is a sign from your unconscious to pay attention to what your heart wants, and to grieve the fact that you don’t have it yet so you can acknowledge the pain and move on to getting it” blah blah blah.

When you’re in a serious “hard” you won’t listen to this.

You will see a photo of someone’s wedding, and your throat will close up, and you will rant to your imaginary friend, and you will burst into tears.

Yes, this was Yours Truly today.

So. I wanna say a couple of things.

  • One: my life is hard right now. It’s less hard than it used to be, but it’s still hard.

And the main reason why it’s less hard than it used to be is because I’ve been working with my stuff. Lots. Not necessarily because my life conditions have changed all that much.

I have no idea what I’m doing. Most of the time. All I know is… it’s working.

My life is still really hard. And it’s also getting better…

  • Two: one day, hopefully not too far in the future, my life will be much better than it is now.

And you may look at “how good I have it” and think “easy for her to preach all that positive woo woo stuff, her life is awesome”.

So this is your chance: look at me now, in all my messy mess and my hard stuff and take strength from it.

Things are hard for me, but I’m still doing this work. And it IS working.

I am here. I am working towards my dream. I am showing up.

Despite the mess and the hard stuff. Despite the poverty and the loneliness and the misery.


  • And so, I give you the biggest truth in this whole “working with your stuff” dealio:

The goal is not to make your life perfect.

The goal is to stay with yourself, no matter what life looks like.

Let’s be here, together.

No matter what life throws at us.

Love & Hugs

Mary Tracy

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