If You’re Single, Read This

Welcome to the “Single Series”

single coffee

I am a single woman.  And I have… “stuff” about it. (stuff = personal issues, narratives, pain triggers, etc; get my free ebook and read all about how to work with it)

So I work with this “stuff” regularly as part of my practice. And sometimes my practice involves writing.

Here are the posts so far on the topic of “being single”. If you’re new to the website, then rest assured that these posts are not about “being happy while single”, they are about keeping it real and being honest.

I *only* do real and honest.


On being single and learning to “be OK on your own first”

So… I got angry with the “advice” given to single people in this self-help/spiritual world, which tends to go something like this: “be OK on your own first, and then you will find love”.

Yes, I agree, being OK on your own is awesome. AND it is something we all need to do, single or not. This might be a good post to read if you are struggling with this narrative.

Single“Forget about “learning to be OK on your own in order to find someone”.
Instead, focus on “learning how to be OK on your own in order to be healthier and happier”.
Because when you are healthier and happier, you have healthier and happier relationships.”



I am single and I’m in pain

On this post I show you how I worked with all my pain about being single.
It’s a seriously useful post, with at least 5 concepts that are important to know.


“It’s my god given right to have pain around being single (dammit!) Why should I be “complete” and “happy” and “not want things to be different”? Are my coupled friends happy with what they have? Do they feel complete? F*ck no!”



The Fear of Being Single

In this post I discuss a study that found it was people who were most afraid of being single who kept choosing less than ideal partners.

And I link this with the self-help/spiritual concept of “when you are negative, you repel people”. Which I don’t agree with.

When you are feeling anxious, scared, depressed, sad, impatient… it’s time to turn “inwards”.

You will subconsciously get things wrong, and more wrong, and even more wrong, until you stop and take care of your internal world.”



This is it… for now.
Though I’m sure I’ll keep writing about the whole “being single” topic again.
If you want to write and tell me about how much it sucks to be single, I’d love to read. I’m always up for keeping it real.
And you can subscribe to the newsletter if you want to receive more posts like this

BONUS: Sara Eckel is a refreshing source of wisdom in the topic of “single-ness”. I highly recommend her work if you’re struggling with difficult feelings.