• Working with Stuff

    Why getting mad at the media is not helping you

    Once upon a time, in a galaxy far, far away known as “Feminism”, I and tons of others used to get regularly riled up about how the media screwed up our minds. And everyone else’s minds. And the whole of the world. Forever. Etc. And yes, the media does screw up our minds. But focusing on the “screw up” is not helping us.   Back story A few weeks ago, Danielle Orner asked on Twitter: “What responsibility, if any, does the media have for promoting a healthy self image?” “Overwhelmed by the problem of negative, unhealthy, inaccurate messages. What can we do beyond spreading awareness?” My answer: “Spread healing. When…

  • Working with Stuff

    Strengthening boundaries: the “Everyday Sexism” edition

    The other day something quite unpleasant took place… It was the kind of thing you would report to the Everyday Sexism project. But I won’t tell you more about it, because I’ll be damned if I dirty my shiny, precious website with dirt. We are still going to work with it, though. Because it’s common. And important. And it’s about boundaries. Working with it The event itself consisted of a man doing an “unseemly thing”… in the Library, or all places. And since this “unseemly event” happened, I’ve been working with my reaction to it. You know, the old “working with my stuff” thing. The very FIRST step: Noticing You…

  • My Thoughts on the World,  Social

    Reading “Vagina” – From Anger to Compassion

    WARNING! I briefly mention trauma, but I also discuss a pathway to healing. Read only if you’re ready.   As you know, I fall out with “Feminism” on an almost daily basis. It looks like this: “THAT’s IT! I’m done with Feminism! I’M DONE WITH FEMINISTS! They can all go to…” etc The reason for this fall out came courtesy of reading Naomi Wolf’s latest book “Vagina” the other day, for my Feminist Book Club. I had read the reviews, written by famous and worldly feminists, and now I’ve read the book I was really pissed off. At feminists, mostly. OK, at the feminists who reviewed the book in particular.…

  • My Thoughts on the World

    The Pain of Mars vs Venus

      Today I found myself thinking about this idea that “men and women are different species”. To be precise, I found myself “sensing” how much pain this “idea” brings out for people. Especially men. See, here’s the thing. As women, we are “allowed” to talk about our feelings and our inner worlds. We are allowed to connect with each other. Men are not granted that privilege. If “this over here” is their inner self, they are expected to live “over there”. In another galaxy, in another Universe. Separated from themselves… and by definition, separated from everyone else. The result is that men spend their lives “disconnected” from everyone. And because…