• Stories of my life,  Working with Stuff

    Triggered

    Triggers. They are no fun, to put it *very* mildly. In case you don’t know what a trigger is (like I didn’t) here’s what they look like for me. I see something, or hear something, and all of a sudden a memory of a Horrible Moment in my life shows up and I can’t stop feeling distressed. The memory won’t go away, the distress won’t go away, and I can no longer function. That’s what happens to me “now”. What used to happen, back before I started working with my stuff, is that I would see something I seriously disapproved, I would proceed to lose my marbles completely, the “thing”…

  • Help in a crisis,  My Thoughts on the World,  Working with Stuff

    Jumbled Thoughts on Depression and Suicide: How to help

    The topic of depression and suicide has been in my mind since the death of Robin Williams’ two days ago. These are my thoughts. They are slightly jumbled, because this is an extremely triggering topic for me. All in all, I think I did quite well. Caveats! * I will be writing about depression and suicide, and what people can do to help those with depression. That’s the angle. If you are triggered by these topics, proceed with caution. * As always, all my knowledge is derived from personal experience. Especially on the topics of depression and suicide. I don’t claim to know what works for everyone, forever, but this…

  • Help in a crisis,  Stories of my life

    Pausing the Memory

    I don’t know what triggered the memory. But suddenly, here it is: the moment I found out that my smart, sensitive boyfriend liked “g*rl on g*rl” stuff. There it was: the disgusting, filthy, vile, repugnant, rotten goo of poison hidden somewhere inside his heart. Disappointment. Eventually they all prove to have this disgusting, filthy, vile, repugnant, rotten goo of poison inside them. Argh. I wanted nothing more to do with him at that point. But of course I didn’t listen, now, did I? Even though it disgusted me. Even though I couldn’t get out of my head how disgusting he was. Even though I had effectively lost all my respect…