• Stuff you can try,  Working with Stuff

    Using Lovers

    My ex used to say that women want men the way they want fashion accessories. “They want men like they want a purse“. My ex was an arsehole. So there’s that. I’ve been noticing lately how and when I hanker for a man And the truth is… Not flattering. When I’m bored, and I crave entertainment. When I feel sad, or lonely, and I want a hug. When I feel insecure, and I want reassurance. When I panic about “what am I doing with my life!!!” and I want reassurance. When I want access to comfort and luxury and safety, and I imagine that a man would be the ticket…

  • Working with Stuff

    This Post is Actually About Compassion

      Someone hasn’t had sex in 1 year. And then I laughed. I laughed because I haven’t seen “any” in 3 years The only acceptable response to this revelation is “Cheesus Christ!!! I can’t even!!!”. Yes. That is the only acceptable response. It is not, however, the response I actually get from friends and such. The response I do get is “Blah Mary, quit your whining, blah, no big deal”. So now we have to talk about compassion Compassion is the ability to say “Cheesus Christ!!!” in the face of pain. Is the ability to recognise that the pain is, indeed, painful. No ifs, no buts, no coconuts. Is the…

  • Working with Stuff

    How I’m Bypassing Procrastination

    Right now I’m doing something really important that terrifies me. At the same time, I’m also tweeting compulsively. And checking every form of social media I can get my hands on. These are not contradictory statements While writing my business plan? I watched episodes of “Biker Mice from Mars*” on youtube for DAYS. And then I would only write a line or two. *Yes, I still love Biker Mice from Mars. And yes, I cycle around town going all “Rock and Ride!”. My life, for the past 6 years or so In the past I would spend every waking moment TERRIFIED of doing anything, distracting myself reading ALL THE INTERNET,…

  • My Thoughts on the World

    On Intersectionality & Privilege: BONUS!

    So. I was at the pub last night… Wait. I have never started anything with that line. I have to make the most of it. I was at the pub last night, not drinking, and getting frustrated because the kitchen had closed and mama wanted curly fries. And by “mama” I mean ME, of course. Even though I’m not a mother. Nevermind… The guy at the bar offered me “crisps” instead. And I gave him a look that said “do I LOOK like the kind of person who will settle for crisps when she wants curly fries?”. I’m digressing here… So, I was the pub last night not drinking and…

  • Working with Stuff

    Accidental Self-Compassion

    Note: This is one of those posts where I sit down to work on my “stuff” and I find out what’s going on. What you see is literally what I did to work with my anxiety.   I am feeling *very* frustrated. And anxious. Having a meltdown that looks like this: “Gaaah, I’m never gonna get anywhere, I’m never gonna move forward, I want to do all these things and I cannot do anything, for whatever reason I cannot do anything, I’m going to die having done nothing, GAAAH!!!”. It’s taken me a whole day to realise where this feeling was coming from… I tried, for the best part of…