I thought about it and replied: “Someone who is not yet capable of supporting herself but is trying to get something started?”.
And he asked: “Could it be the fact that Widdershins is not supporting you yet that’s getting in the way? Could that be stopping you from loving Widdershins?”
I remained silent. Or rather, I felt the urge to fight back his question, which I’ve learnt is a sure sign that he’s right.
And he is right. And I know this. I’m putting so much pressure on my baby to “support me already” that it’s getting in the way of loving it and accepting it.
Nowhere on the website does it say that Widdershins is (soon going to be) a business, and that it’s main purpose is to support me so that I don’t starve (or depend on the state and end up hating myself for it).
And nowhere on the site does it say what Widdershins is supposed to “do”, how it’s supposed to help.
Yes, I know, it’s a process. And I’m getting closer to understanding what “Widdershins” is all about as I go along.
Well, I am ready now to explore the kind of situations where turning Widdershins is desperately needed
“Who You Gonna Call?” aka: When Widdershins will come in handy
- You are interested in politics, and you want to know the truth about the Capitalist system. You learn how corrupt it is, you learn every aspect of its corruption in excruciating detail. Awesome. What happens when you go out into the labour market and you try to get a job? U-hu. Problem.
Understanding the corruption of the system tends to make you less eager to engage in it. So how do you pay the rent? The heating? The food?
- You see some seriously effed up example of misogynistic sexual violence, right there in your personal space. Perhaps you ran into it on the street, perhaps you happen to chance it while surfing the web. Anyway, you see it and it’s seriously effed up. You are effing furious! You want to lash out, kill, destroy, BURN! Your stomach’s in knots are your heart is racing.
So what do you do? At that moment of white hot anger… what do you do?
- And another. Somehow you have ended up in an internet argument. Again. With a “rightwing nut” or a misogynist troll who is saying things that are driving you up the wall. Their words are making you see red, in both senses of the word. How can they be so wrong?! ARGH!!! They are simply not listening to reason! Or logic! Or evidence of any kind! Absolutely no common sense!
So again… what do you do at that moment when you are so angry you might explode?
- And yet another. You just found out about the latest evil thing this government is doing. (And there’s no shortage of those at the moment). It’s going to affect you, or someone you love. You are feeling so hurt, frustrated and angry you may cry tears of sheer rage.
What do you do then? When you feel like you are being ignored on purpose, your needs are being downright dismissed, your feelings entirely disregarded. When you feel you are a non-entity in the eyes of those in Government. What do you do then?
- And yet another. You are tired, exhausted; you feel ready to give up. It’s all pointless, nothing changes, in fact, things are just getting worse. But you can’t, really, because you know things are only going to get worse if no one tries to change them. And yet, and yet… you have a life to live, you want to be happy, and the endless fight is endless and so tiring!
What do you do? Do you give up? Do you hand over your Union / Political Party membership card? Throw away your placards and “move on with your life”?
I believe the answer to the questions above is to “turn widdershins”. Doing things differently. Turning in the opposite direction. Doing what’s most counter-intuitive at times: turning inwards.
The process itself is difficult. It consists of a collection of techniques that take practice and hard work. But I believe they are essential if we are to remain in the political activist path and not collapse from poverty, exhaustion or rage.