Weekly Log copy

Weekly Log #81: Back to the Baseline, Almost

My weekly ritual for looking at the week that was.

This week I am back to my “baseline”, meaning I am feeling like myself most of the time, with moments of “down”.
Let’s log.

  • No news is bad news. Or rather, no news is the confirmation of the bad news. Whatever, things are exactly the same and I don’t like it. A breath for the challenge of holding this story.
  • Back to potatoes. There goes I, buying potatoes once again. After a [time frame] of tasting food from this other menu, food I had not tasted in such a long time, here I am once again getting potatoes, and I don’t like it. I mean, potatoes are a perfectly fine vegetable, and they can be rather wonderful, and yes, you can make so many things out of potatoes. And I am just tired of potatoes, I wanted this other food. A breath for life being what it is.
  • I worked at a wedding last Saturday and I had never felt less triggered by “wedding stuff” in my whole life. It was like… nothing. I didn’t even look at the men, which would have gone entirely unnoticed had my friend not pointed out their existence. This is huge. Usually a wedding triggers all of my Single Woman Complex, and I suffer through it in ways I can’t describe. This time, there was none of that. I am amazed. I am awarding myself *ALL* the Sparklepoints.
  • So much work. Everyday last week, with only one day off. I’m not complaining, but I am tired. Today was a day off, and I was so exhausted I took 3 naps. 3! Luckily, my intention for the day was “rest and replenishing”, so that got done. A breath for the truth that “exhaustion is always legitimate”.
  • More bike problems, this time a buckle in my back wheel. It’s like they never stop! A breath for the frustration of living a human life.
  • An opportunity has arisen for me to do some writing for people who are doing good things in the world in a very yoga-way. I am taking it slow, but this is pretty exciting news nonetheless.
  • .

Moments of Insight

This week’s main realisation was this:

  • My baseline is “mostly happy, or at the very least ok”.

I was talking to Imo (my Imaginary friend) and I got thinking about my life (as you do), and my history of depression. My mental health “challenges” began very early on, when I was about 5 years old, and since then I had been mostly depressed, most of the time. That meant that my “baseline”, i.e.: what I thought of as my “character”, my mood, my approach to life, something that scientists agree that cannot be changed and is set for life, was “mostly miserable”.

Well that changed. I am now mostly happy, unless something happens to knock me down.
And it’s all due to yoga and inner work.

This is pretty remarkable. More than that, it’s astonishing. This is something science says cannot be done.
And it is possible, I’m living proof.

You can raise your baseline so that you are mostly happy, most of the time, even if you have had a “mostly depressed” baseline through most of your life.

Things of Considerable Worth (Un-missables!)

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This week was full of nothing meaningful, and I still logged it. And I am still experiencing distressed feelings, and I sill logged.
So I win all the Sparklepoints of the day.