This log is going cannot take much time, because I am not feeling well, and I’ve already left it too late (due to reasons).
- “Fantastic 4”, that is, my new phone, started functioning on Saturday and I am very happy with it. It’s an iPhone 4, which means I am now only 5 years behind “today’s technology”, rather than 7 years. It can do all sorts of things, and most importantly, I can have a Spanish keyboard. Yay Fantastic 4!
- Lots of feeling of “Why Bother”. The end of the year is upon us, where everyone focuses on “taking stock”, which leads me to panic about my lack of “stock”, as it were. A breath for this challenge that is ending the year with grace.
- Still no clarity around the “Mr Soulmate Oddysee”. A breath for praying.
- I pitched something I wrote to some online thing. I haven’t done this in over 2 years, because the last time I got rejected and didn’t take it very well. This time I just sent this thing I wrote a few months ago, which I was so proud of at the time. Except, I’ve read it since then I am no longer proud. In fact, I think it’s terrible. So now I am having all the doubts about “why do I bother” when my writing is terrible. A breath for purpose and how hard it is to find sometimes.
- Life is too much, and I don’t want to be where I am, and there doesn’t seem to be anything I can do to change things. A breath for watching lots of “George and Mildred” on youtube.
- The “Final Countdown” is here: I am travelling to Argentina in less than a month. Way too afraid of “possible things that might go wrong”. A breath for all the fear.
- Working evenings. Terrible weather. It’s been a sad week. Come to think of it, it’s been a couple of sad weeks… A breath about that.
- I don’t feel like I’m “here”. I don’t know where I am. I don’t know where my life has gone. I have no hope and no dreams, no future and no present. I don’t even know how to have a breath for that.
Moments of Insight
I haven’t had “Big Moments of Insight” in so long, I’m beginning to think they are gone for good.
So this “insight” is rather small, but it’s all I have:
I realised that I spend so much time hanging out around Truth, and in that space, “time” does not exist; which is why I never think about “time going by” and “no publishing has been done, no writing, no money coming in”.
It’s like these two take place on different “spaces”.
Things of Considerable Worth (Un-missables!)
- “Wise Women on Depression”. Some is better than others. Check this, by Susan Piker:
Depression is a gateway to the feminine. When it descends, certain things become impossible: Action. Linearity. Assertiveness. We find ourselves in a dark realm ruled by receptivity, groundlessness, and a strange form of sadness. We find that we cannot do, we can only be.
- “Facing Loneliness on the Spiritual Path”. There’s something here. We truly are “A generation in search of answers”
- “December: Light”. Just because I love her writing. I am drawn towards the “sad” melancholic end of the spectrum, which means I end up asking lots of difficult questions. And Karin Burke is not afraid to go there.
I seriously don’t know how this log got logged, considering how I feel, but it happened. So get sparklepoints.
Here’s a wish that sadness leads to clarity and insights.