Things continue to burn down to the ground.
This week’s log will have to be tiny. Because, seriously: no words.
- Still tons of anxiety in the body… Someone said I look “tired”. *sigh* A breath for ease.
- Working on Thing. Yay. Worried about Thing not turning out good enough…
- Published a post on Valentine’s Day! And people liked it! Yay for writing and for doing brave things.
- Big Thing happened. No words.
- Still no signs of “progress” or “change”. A breath for patience.
- Goodbye to Floop… Nice goodbye, but still, emotions stirred.
- Progress on Sacred Practice. Go me. I get points for this!
- The feeling that I’ve been stripped clear of everything in my life, down to my very bones. And it keeps on going, seemingly with no end in sight. <-- this is from last week and it is STILL TRUE!
- Learning to be OK with all the chaos, all the wrongness and all the pain. I suppose this is kind of a Big Thing.
Moments of Insight
You know when spiritual-y books talk about the ego falling apart? This is exactly where I am right now. And it ain’t pretty.
This-is-it. I have no money, no job, no accolades, no status, no fancy possessions, no title, no nothing. My ego can’t grasp at anything to reassure itself.
Nor am I trying to. Instead, I am letting it all be there, and learn from the experience.
Martha Beck has this to say:
“When something “terrible” is happening to us (from a “shallows” perspective), something wonderful is always being born (from the Stargazer’s perspective). (…) when our attachment to our old false concepts is fully burned up, when we utterly and truly let of of the way we once thought things should be, the magic happens.”
The magic happens! This is the perfect time for magic to happen :)
Things of Considerable Worth (Un-missables!)
- Beautiful post. “I Want to Know You”. “I want to know what kind of man you are beneath the surface”.
- There’s going to be a symposium over “The Future of Mental Health” next week, with 15 experts on the field. I have no idea if it will be any good, but it is free, and if you’re interested in mental health, it might be worth checking out.
Another week logged. And a hard week it was.
Here’s to the magic happening.