This week I came face to face with the realisation “Holly cow, I’ve made some serious progress on working with my stuff!”.
Translation: I went through challenging situations and did not lose my marbles.
This is huge. I can hardly believe it myself.
Let’s look at this in Log form.
- I went through an embarrassing, surreal, “Are you f*cking kidding me!” situation and I managed to stay cool and mostly silent. Wow.
- I am no longer thinking about men or finding a partner. WOW.
- Some bad news. Followed by a meltdown. Followed by… coming back up. In other words: going through something horrible and not being crushed by it.
- The constant “bing-bing-bing” of “things that are triggering, annoying, upsetting, frustrating, and have the potential to make me lose my marbles”… I managed to stay cool through it all and not react.
- Interacting with people who aren’t “in my wavelength” and making it work.
- Not punishing myself when I fail to “do what I’m supposed to do”.
Like I said: progress. It’s kinda blowing my mind.
Various Log-worthy things:
- Lots of cake. “So Mary… how is this whole ‘cutting back on sugar’ thing going?” :P It’s actually going great. And then, there’s cake.
- Delicious lunches, made by me. Healthy, tasty food is a newly discovered priority.
- Busy. Sometimes that’s what’s needed.
- Time with friends. Grateful for friends, always.
Moments of Insight
I always underestimate the inner work I do, because it’s so… “unconventional”.
I mean, it’s all rooted in mindfulness and essentially “staying with yourself when the going gets tough”.
And it never feels like it’s working at the time because (HA HA!) it doesn’t.
But in the long run, it changes everything.
I mean it. All of a “sudden” (actually, it’s been 4 years, but who’s counting) I am more calm, more peaceful, more accepting, more forgiving… I understand people better and I have more patience with them. I am kinder to everyone, including myself. And above all: I can cope with the nasty stuff without losing it.
This is a true revolution, even if I can’t “prove it” to people with flashy images.
It’s an internal revolution.
Things of Considerable Worth (Un-missables!)
It’s no secret that audio talks are my preferred medium for leaning new ideas.
Here’s a big database of talks on all kinds of Buddhist concepts.
I agree with this. I feel so much pressure to write in “lists” or to write stuff that’s “shareable” because, of course!, I want people to read my writing.
But that’s not how magic gets made. That’s not how the creative process works. If you’re an artist, “creation time” must be a sacred space, where “what people want” doesn’t come into play.
And, at the end of the day, it’s all about creating meaningful stuff.
10 weeks of logging! Wowsers!
And tomorrow: Widdershins turns 2 years old!!!