• Stuff you can try,  Working with Stuff

    Being Single Alone

      It’s Valentine’s Day, or as we call it on this website, “Valiant Day”, and since this time tends to wreck the nerves of us single people, I thought I would come out of my Writer’s Block to share the best advice I can give you on how to deal with singleness in a world of coupledness. And that advice is:   “You do not talk about being single with people who are coupled”.   Now you may be thinking “whaaat?”, so don’t worry, I will expand on this. And if you regularly find yourself in painful conversations with your coupled friends, you may want to read until the end.  …

  • Stuff you can try,  Working with Stuff

    “All my friends will leave me” – How to work with fear

    The challenge is to separate the emotions from the story. Acknowledge the emotions, and let go of the story. So many people cannot differentiate between the two. They see an emotion, and have to destroy it. They go straight into discrediting the story, sacrificing the emotion in the process. Let’s look at an example, or this will never make sense. Right now I am deep inside this story: all my friends will leave me because I am a big failure. My emotions are… oh, Heaven knows. I don’t have to know what they are, I just have to feel them and remind myself that they are legitimate. I think I’m…

  • Stories of my life,  Working with Stuff

    What is the Point of Dreaming?

    Note: this was written at the very end of a difficult time of Extreme Emotions, after my first week visiting my parents in Buenos Aires, Argentina.   This much is true for me. Sometimes all you can do is hold on And when I say “sometimes” I mean, days, weeks, months, even years. Yes. Years. Some years all you can do is hold on. Without a plan. Without even any trust, for trust is a muscle and it grows slowly. Some years all you can do is hold on. Breathe. Practice. Stay as present as you can, processing as much as you can and not more. Being as kind to…

  • Stories of my life,  Working with Stuff

    A Story About Failure

    The Mother of all Caveats: This is a very long post, more than 2800 words. And I do not recommend reading it. It tells of a very sad story of my life, the details of “The Hardest Winter”. It is full of failure, and there’s no “redeeming happy ending”. There’s a bit on the life lessons I learned through it but mostly, it’s just failure. At the beginning of this year I had 2 main goals. Though I cannot call them “goals”. They are more like… adventures. Let’s just say I wanted to achieve 2 things to make my life “better”: a “new job” and meeting Mr Soulmate. “New Job”…

  • Stories of my life,  Working with Stuff

    Because I’m Scared of Dreaming

    This is one of those rare posts where I share my process. This is what happened. I was day dreaming, as I often do, and catching myself doing so (thank you, mindfulness). I was in resistance, simultaneously enjoying the day dreaming and beating myself up for it. And we know what Havi says… “When you struggle with yourself, the struggle always wins”. So I opened a new document on the laptop and started to write. I ended up having a conversation with “Wiser Me”, who gave me a bunch of wise advice. Here’s what I wrote: I was feeling pretty good, and day dreaming a wonderful dream. And since I…